Embrace Your Superpower: The Positive Side of Being Selfish

Over the last few years, I've dedicated time to getting to know myself better. I’ve often asked, “Who is Natasha, and how does she want to live her life?”

Growing up, two words seemed to define me: selfish and spoiled. They became a daily mantra I couldn't escape.

“Wow Natasha, you really are selfish…all you do is think about yourself.”

“You act like such a spoiled brat, do you know that Natasha?”

I would always roll my eyes. Why did I care? I wanted what I wanted and didn’t see why I should feel bad about it. It took me a while to understand why being myself was seen as negative.

For this post, let’s focus on "selfish." The spoiled stories can wait for another time.

Redefining "Selfish"

“Selfish – (of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.”

Let’s be clear: I don’t intend to harm anyone. But why is this word perceived as negative? Because society has conditioned us to think so. The discomfort with the word made me question putting myself first.

Interestingly, embracing selfishness helped me develop essential skills and unlearn harmful beliefs.

You might wonder, “Natasha, how can being selfish be good?” The concepts of “good” and “bad” are subjective. Here are four ways being selfish has been beneficial for me and might help you shift your perspective too.

4 Ways Being Selfish Can Be Your Superpower

Self-Preservation

Historically, Black women have been expected to prioritize others’ needs before their own. Embracing a “selfish” mindset can be a form of self-preservation. 

Prioritizing your mental, emotional, and physical health is crucial for resilience and longevity, especially in the face of daily challenges and societal pressures.

Boundary Setting

Being labeled as “selfish” often stems from setting boundaries and asserting your needs. For Black women, facing discrimination and microaggressions makes boundary-setting essential. 

By embracing your “selfish” nature, you can communicate boundaries assertively, fostering healthier relationships built on mutual respect and understanding.

Empowerment

Embracing selfishness can be empowering. It’s an act of self-affirmation and self-love. In a society that often devalues and marginalizes your experiences, prioritizing your needs is radical. 

By unapologetically pursuing your goals, you challenge stereotypes and inspire others to embrace their autonomy and self-worth.

Community Impact

Prioritizing self-care and personal growth positively impacts the Black community. By investing in your well-being and success, you serve as a role model, breaking cycles of generational trauma and uplifting future generations. 

When you thrive individually, you contribute to the collective empowerment of your community.

Reframe "Selfishness" as a Strength

By reframing “selfishness” as self-care, boundary-setting, empowerment, and community impact, you can harness its potential. It’s a superpower to navigate and thrive in a world that often seeks to diminish your worth and agency.

Being selfish isn’t about harming others; it’s about taking care of yourself. Embrace your selfishness and recognize it as a strength that can lead to personal growth, healthier relationships, and community empowerment.