Holidays Aren’t Always Happy: Staying Connected and Supporting Your Spouse During the Season
The holiday season is often celebrated as a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But for many, it can bring stress, grief, or loneliness.
Whether due to the pressure of creating the "perfect holiday," unresolved family dynamics, financial strain, or reminders of lost loved ones, the season can take a toll on mental and emotional well-being.
For couples, these stressors can create tension or disconnection, even when societal expectations suggest you should feel closer than ever.
However, with intentionality and proactive steps, you and your spouse can navigate the holiday season with grace, deepen your connection, and support each other through any holiday blues.
Here are eight tips to help you stay connected and support one another this holiday season.
Acknowledge the Reality
It’s okay if the holidays don’t feel cheerful for you or your partner. Recognizing and validating these feelings can foster a deeper connection. Allow yourselves to experience the season authentically, without forcing happiness or comparing your relationship to others.
Try this: Spend 15 minutes together sharing how you each feel about the holidays. Use open-ended questions like, “What are you most excited about this season?” or “What feels hardest for you this year?”
Set Realistic Expectations Together
The holidays often come with a long list of traditions and expectations. As a team, decide what works best for you both. Whether it's the number of events you attend, your holiday budget, or how you split time with family, focus on what aligns with your values as a couple.
ATL Tip: Simplify gift-giving by exploring local holiday markets like The Indie Craft Experience Holiday Market or The Atlanta Christkindl Market. Shopping together can turn holiday chores into a fun date while supporting local artisans.
Create a Plan for Stressful Situations
If family gatherings or holiday parties are sources of tension, plan ahead for how you’ll support each other. Discuss signals for when one of you needs a break or set boundaries like limiting your time at certain events.
Try this: Before a gathering, discuss potential challenges and how you’ll address them. For instance, if one of you feels overwhelmed by family questions, the other can step in to redirect the conversation.
Make Time for Intimacy and Connection
With the hustle and bustle of the holidays, it’s easy to lose touch with your partner. Prioritize moments of intimacy and connection, whether through small gestures of affection or a planned date night.
ATL Date Night Ideas:
Light Displays: Stroll through Garden Lights, Holiday Nights at the Atlanta Botanical Garden or drive through neighborhood light displays.
Cozy Coffee Dates: Visit Condesa Coffee or Dancing Goats Coffee Bar for a quiet moment over warm drinks.
Skating Fun: Go ice skating at Skate the Station at Atlantic Station or Avalon on Ice for playful, winter-themed fun.
Honor Grief and Loss Together
The holidays can intensify feelings of grief for those mourning loved ones or navigating life changes. Acknowledge your partner’s pain and create ways to honor those memories together.
Try this: Light a candle, prepare a loved one’s favorite dish, or attend a holiday remembrance service. The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting often holds events in Atlanta to honor those who have passed.
Practice Gratitude and Giving
Focusing on gratitude and acts of kindness can help shift attention from holiday stress to what truly matters. Celebrate what you’re thankful for and find ways to give back as a couple.
ATL Tip: Volunteer together at local organizations like the Atlanta Community Food Bank or Hands On Atlanta. Shared acts of giving can create meaningful memories and deepen your bond.
Prioritize Self-Care and Rest
Supporting each other during the holidays requires prioritizing individual well-being. Make time for rest and relaxation, both individually and as a couple.
Try this: Treat yourselves to a couples' massage at Jeju Sauna or The Art of Touch. On a budget? Create a cozy spa night at home with candles, soothing music, and homemade face masks.
Seek Professional Help When Needed
If the holiday season feels especially heavy, don’t hesitate to seek support from a therapist. Professional guidance can provide you and your partner with strategies to navigate holiday stress with resilience and understanding.
Your Holiday Season, Your Way
The holidays don’t need to be picture-perfect to be meaningful. By supporting each other through the ups and downs, you and your spouse can create a season that prioritizes connection, love, and shared understanding.
If you and your partner need extra support this holiday season, I’m here to help. Together, we can strengthen your relationship and help you navigate this time with intention and care.
Schedule a free 15 minute consultation today to make this holiday season about connection, not perfection.