Start Your New Year Prioritizing Pleasure, Self-Care, and Rest
As we step into 2025, let’s focus on a fundamental yet transformative message: Black women must prioritize pleasure, ease, and rest. This new year is a fresh opportunity to shift how you care for yourself and experience life. If you’ve reflected on the past year or even if you haven’t, take a moment to digest these words and set the tone for a more fulfilling year.
You deserve a life of joy, ease, and thriving—not just surviving. Yet, societal and cultural messages often tell Black women to prioritize productivity and others’ needs over their own. These expectations, ingrained through history and family dynamics, can make self-prioritization feel radical. But this year, it’s time to unlearn these patterns and embrace a new narrative.
Below are three practical steps to help you realign your life with self-care, fun, and alignment. These strategies will not only protect your energy but also allow you to show up fully for yourself and those who matter most.
Step 1: Mind Your Business
Protect your energy by minding your business. Too often, we carry the emotional labor of others by overinvesting in problems, gossip, and chaos that don’t serve us. This year, reclaim your time and mental space by identifying where your energy is leaking.
Start by pinpointing the energy vampires in your life. You already know who or what they are: the constant gossip, family drama, or endless social media distractions. Set clear boundaries to protect yourself. Here are a few polite ways to remove yourself from situations that drain you:
“I’m not available for this conversation right now.”
“They’ll figure it out; they have the skills and support they need.”
Once you’ve set boundaries, turn inward. Redirect your newfound energy toward healing, hobbies, and activities that light you up. Ask yourself, “Is this my business?” before engaging in conversations or emotional reactions. If it’s not your business, let it go.
Step 2: Schedule Time for Yourself
Put your self-care and fun on the calendar now. If you don’t schedule it, chances are it won’t happen. Life will always present obligations and distractions, so take proactive steps to prioritize yourself. Your life is meant to be lived and enjoyed, not just worked away.
Here are some ideas to add to your calendar:
Spa days or long baths—block out time for luxurious, restorative self-care.
Solo dates like visiting a museum, exploring a coffee shop, or being a tourist in your own town.
Non-negotiable rest days or weekends for doing absolutely nothing.
Hobbies and fun activities like dance classes or creative pursuits.
For example, in my household, everyone knows that Wednesdays are dance days. It’s a sacred, joyful time I’ve committed to, and it makes a world of difference in my week.
Step 3: Focus on Pleasure and Play
When you prioritize pleasure, fun, and downtime, you reconnect with yourself and rediscover your desires. Many Black women struggle to identify what they truly want or crave because they’re so focused on meeting others’ needs. Setting aside time for yourself—to dream, play, and rest—is essential for tuning into your desires.
Remember, your worth is not tied to how productive you are or how much you give to others. By pouring into yourself, you create the capacity to show up for others from a place of abundance, not depletion. You can’t pour from an empty cup, so make sure yours is overflowing first.
Listen to the Full Podcast Episode
For a deeper dive into these concepts and actionable advice, listen to my podcast episode that inspired this blog post. Click below or use the embedded player at the top of this page to tune in and set the tone for a year of self-care, ease, and pleasure.
Listen to the Podcast Episode Here
Take the First Step Today
This year, commit to unlearning the expectations and pressures that have kept you in a cycle of overgiving and burnout. Mind your business, schedule your self-care, and rediscover the joy of simply being. Let’s make 2025 the year you prioritize you.
If you’re ready to dive deeper into these practices, explore our other resources and schedule a free 15 minute consultation at JIWS. Together, we can create a life where pleasure, rest, and self-care take center stage.